


Between Asleep and Awake That Is Where We Shall Meet

by TooYoungToFeelThisTired



Series: What if? [14]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternative Timeline, F/M, Feelings Realization, Five is aged up, Five is in his younger body, Hypnagogia, Masturbation, Mentally Older Man/Physically Older Woman, No Incest, Nudity, Older Woman/Younger Man, Pseudo-Incest, Sexual Content, Teenagers, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-24 01:32:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19713583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired
Summary: Do you know that place between being asleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams? That's where I'll always love, that's where I'll always wait for you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own TUA

Five ran away. It was an instant, a moment that Vanya will never forget because it was the moment that counted the most. The moment she let him down.

He argued with dad about time traveling who was being as passive as ever. Vanya could see what would happen next. She felt it in her bones. She knew Five. She knew him well. She knew what he would do, and yet, she let him.

When he looked up at her, his personal confidant in the matters of time traveling, he was expecting her to support him, or maybe to stop him. But all she managed to do was to shake her head, and now the guilt of all those things she should have said to stop him or running after him was eating her alive because Five really ran away.

When he ran away from the dining room all she could do was dug her fingers into her knees as punishment for being a bad sister, and a bad friend.

_I'm sorry, Five._

'Don't worry,' said Ben as he touched her shoulder while he was reading to her in the library trying to cheer her up, 'He will come back. Where else would he go?'

But he didn't know. He didn't know Five as she did. He didn't understand the intensity of Five's demand to time travel. Where would he go, wasn't the only issue? Even if it was impossible to know for sure, she could feel it in her heart, Five was no longer in their time. He achieved his greatest success. He time traveled. And he wasn't coming back.

That night Vanya cried herself to sleep in her tiny room on her bed praying that when she would wake up it would all be a dream, or that she would time traveled back to the past and undo it all. She would go back and tell Five not to go, beg him if she had to. Sometimes, it felt like he had a soft spot for her. Sometimes he listened. If she cried if she tried hard enough maybe he wouldn't go. Maybe he would have stayed with her if she did all that. Maybe he would have taken her as well.

But she didn't and he was gone, and even if she clawed to the last bit of hope that maybe he would come back, she couldn't help but feel that little voice of doubt telling her that he wouldn't because why would anyone come back here if they had a choice. Luckily she fell asleep right after that, so the moment it started to mock her with - _because of you?_ – she was already out.

She wasn't sure how but she could feel someone was with her on her bed. It was like the bed was shifting with another weight, as well as her body felt a body heat of another person, and heard someone's soft breath which did not belong to her. She was still asleep, but also not entirely asleep. She couldn't open her eyes, but she felt it. It must have been one of those dreams.

She moved her hand trying to touch whoever came to her bed and found someone's hand. It was nicely warm and soft, and even with her eyes closed, she could tell it was Five.

When they were little maybe six, she would sneak out from her room, and go to his to sleep next to him because she was sure someone would come and take her from her room, and no one would save her. If Five was with her, they would have to take him too, and even if she didn't want to put her brother in danger, she also didn't want to be taken alone. They used to sleep with their fingers entwined and their hands turned around so that Five's hand was closer to her and hers was closer to him. Everything else from that period or before that was foggy in Vanya's mind, but she remembered this. She remembered how they held their hands as they slept.

Knowing it was Five's hand, Vanya's still not awake brain took his hand and entwined their fingers before she brought it toward her. She was starting to wake up, and her brain would soon catch onto all which happened the day before.

Vanya pressed her lips against Five's hand and kissed it softly somehow even in that moment knowing she never wanted to let go of his hand.

Then awareness kicked in, and Vanya opened her eyes. The moment she did the feeling of another body next to her and of Five's hand in hers vanished like it was all just the product of her mind, which it most likely was.

It took her another second to remember all which happened the day before and start crying again. He really was gone.

* * *

The next night she dreamed about her being the greatest violinist in the world. It was a ridiculous dream, she knew, but she was grateful for it nevertheless because it offered her some release from her real life. The day was brutal, Reginald was being especially hard on the Umbrella Academy probably coming to the closure that Five wasn't coming back.

Vanya tried to stay out of his way, but he caught her practicing in her room at one point and ridiculed her progress by saying she was probably slacking out on the instrument, and if she didn't get better he would have taken it away.

With tears behind her eyes, she forced herself to continue to play until dinner ignoring every one of her siblings' demands to stop. She usually stopped every time someone came and said she should. Five used to be the one who would tell them to stop bothering her and for her to continue. He _used to be_ the only defender of her music. With the realization that she would have to defend herself now, she cried even harder turning the lovely sound her violin was producing into a mess, but she continued to play.

So it wasn't a good day, and the dream offered her at least some peace of mind, so she took it. She wasn't sure where the dream changed to the same one from the previous night, but once again Vanya realized there was someone else in the bed with her.

She rolled to her side, even though she couldn't wake up or open her eyes yet, she knew it was Five again.

This time it was him who took her hand, entwined their fingers and pressed his lips against the back of her hand. She did the same, and the two of them kept on lying on their sides like this kissing each others' hands while slowly waking up.

She was sad when she woke up again, and Five wasn't there. She was grateful for the dream, but she also found it was cruel. Was her mind trying to help her, or punish her for her weakness that day? Why was it creating such a dream? They haven't shared a bed since they were kids and Pogo found them forbidding Vanya from going into Five's room by keeping her own room locked. Then they got older and sleeping together somehow seemed childish and embarrassing as they started to hit puberty, now she would give anything to wake up and have him in her bed home, alive, and safe. She wouldn't mind sharing the little space she had on it, she would even take the floor if it meant Five would be here again.

Somehow after that second night, she convinced herself that Five would come back to them, to her. He took her hand meaning he wasn't angry with her for not stopping him, not defending him in front of dad. She just knew it. So she started to leave the lights on in the kitchen, in her room, in the hallway, or in his room, so he would know they were still home and waiting for him.

* * *

After the third time, she had the same dream of him lying next to her. She started to leave his favorite marshmallow and peanut butter sandwiches everywhere as well for him just in case he came home and was hungry. She thought she heard his stomach growl on that third morning right before she woke up. She wouldn't want him to starve.

* * *

With the passing time, she became an expert in hypnagogia. The state between sleeping and waking up as she tried to explain why did she dream every night about Five being in her bed. Maybe she just missed him too much, but she still found it odd you could dream about something every night. About the same thing. It also wasn't like she only dreamt about Five. She would have a normal dream not related or related to Five, and then just before she was waking up when she was still on that bridge between waking up and sleeping she would dream about Five laying next to her. She found it strange because it felt very real with her feeling her bed responding to the extra new weight, Five's breathing close to her ear, the touch of his hands in hers. It was like he was actually there, but the moment her eyes opened she was alone in her room her bed only holding her own weight.

She didn't understand it. She tried to look into dream books she found in the library and scan everything she could about hypnagogia, her new obsession, but even with all the research she could find, the answer was nowhere near sight.

It made her a bit frustrated. If Five was here, he would know what it meant and friendly-tease her about her lack of understanding.

She smirked a bit. Yeah, he was always like that with her. He would show he was smarter, but he wouldn't be a total prick about it, just a bit until she would show her annoyance and he would apologize by explaining it all to her, so they could both know the answer. He wouldn't say he was sorry, Five didn't do sorry, but he would make her understand it too so she wasn't upset. She knew he was the only person in the house, he didn't want to upset. He had no problem making a fool out of the others. He always said she wasn't insufferable like the others which was the reason why he liked to spend most of the time with her.

Her smirk fell. She missed him so much. It was close to a year now. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about him or ignored the fact that he was there was well, but she just couldn't. She looked over to his room every now and then before Grace locked it with longing for him. Nothing was the same after he was gone. It was like the house, dad and the others got worse. She wished she had disappeared sometimes. She wished even more often that Five took her with her.

When she once again got to that state that she felt him next to her, she found herself, even if her brain wasn't fully awake, to reach her hand and touch his cheek with her free hand. It was still soft, but there was something sticky on it. Had he been crying? No, this wasn't wetness, it was more solid than liquid. She continued her little administration until she reached for his hair and stroke through them. They were glued together, but not by a gel he sometimes put on because they were having an interview or something. It was something else, it felt also a bit dusty.

Just before she could examine more, she woke up blinking.

She sat up and looked at her hand which touched Five's cheek and hair it was covered in something black and dirty.

Vanya blinked confused and tried to look around, but no one was there. She was alone like always. Five wasn't in her room, he couldn't be. But if it was just a dream why was her hand dirty then?

She tried to determinate what could it be by bringing it closer to her face breathing it in.

If she wasn't wrong, it looked and smelled like mud and ash.

Vanya watched her now dirty fingers and she couldn't help, but feel dread about where the hell Five was and if he was alright. Maybe it had a logical explanation maybe Klaus or someone was playing a nasty trick on her, but somehow she couldn't shake the feeling that wherever or whenever Five was, it wasn't a good place at all.

But it also meant that Five was really there.

Whenever Five was dealing with something, he came to talk to her about his ideas and theories and what he knew. Vanya wouldn't dare to tell this to anyone, so she took a notebook and a pen and tried to write it down.

She took a handy and cleaned her hands making sure the evidence that Five was there stayed on it as proof for her that she hadn't dreamed it up, or lost her mind.

She wrote down two possibilities for what was happening.

She had powers. She crossed that one the moment she wrote the dot. That was just wishful thinking. She knew she was too ordinary to have _powers_.

Five was using his powers when he was in hypnagogia as well. It would make all the sense. Five could teleport to different places. If she was right and he time traveled, he might have been coming back subconsciously back to her.

It warmed her heart to know his subconscious would do so, but also made her worried. Ash and mud. He must have been sleeping on the ground to have mud on him, but the ash? Was there a fire? The idea made her anxious enough to take another pill.

The alarm started signaling breakfast, so Vanya put the handy into the notebook and nicely tugged it all under her bed. Despite her worries, during the breakfast, she couldn't help a relief. Five was somewhere out there, and he was coming back to her even if only like this. It filled her with warm.

* * *

Ever since then, the touching started. It didn't happen every night, because Vanya couldn't exactly control or think straight when she was in hypnagogia. But sometimes it was like her body craved to touch him without her brain being present, and her hand would reach out and stroke his cheek and touch his chest or her knee would bump into his. It was the lightest of the touch, but it mattered all the same to her. Sometimes she just needed to feel him, not just know he was there.

It had been two years since Five disappeared. Sometimes she would feel him in front of her, but his back was to her because he was on the side, and sometimes she would feel him behind her because she was laying on her other side. Sometimes they would roll over, but sometimes they would stay just like that.

Yesterday, she was on her side with her back to him, and couldn't remember that she should roll over, but Five put his arms around her and pushed her toward his chest. She could feel him burying his face against the back of her hair.

She found herself signing and relaxing against his hold no matter how strong it felt. For a moment, she thought she would fall asleep but in the end, she found her eyes opening and Five vanishing like always.

She had to go to the bathroom and wash her hair because she had ash in it now, and her pajamas were dirty now.

* * *

Ever since Vanya knew, found out Five could leave ash and dirt with her, she tried to leave a message for him.

On a small piece of paper, she wrote: _Where/when are you?_

Nicely folded it and held it until she would feel the familiar press of his body close to hers. Of course, the moment they took hands, the paper was no longer in her palm, and she found it only once she was making her bed in the morning.

She couldn't help but feel like an idiot for thinking she could hold onto a piece of paper while sleeping.

She tried it again this time putting a tie on her wrist to keep the paper press there, but the moment she once again was with Five, she didn't remember about it, and the paper stayed right where she kept it on her wrist.

She was incredibly frustrated with her realization, but she didn't stop trying.

* * *

Over the course of the months and years that passed since Five's disappearance, the life in the house grew unbearable. She couldn't help, but after the last time her dad told her how completely unimportant she was to the family, she found herself looking for cheap living arrangements to get out once she turned eighteen. She knew the others had similar plans. All of them were just waiting until that magical birthday which would set them free to live the life the way they wanted.

Even though by the age of seventeen, Vanya was sure Five wasn't coming back, at least not permanently. She still left sandwiches and the lights on for him, and put a piece of paper against her wrist and tied it with a tie. She wasn't sure if it was hope or hopelessness, but somehow all those things made her feel better, a routine just like taking her pills, practicing and meals alarms.

That night she dreamt about Five lying behind her his whole body pressed against hers. Every night she dreamt about him being close gave her at least a bit of relief from all the madness of her life. Something other to hold on to than the everlasting loneliness and feelings of guilt, disappointment, and sadness.

She found herself pressing closer to him even if that wasn't possible with their bodies laying pressed completely against one another. It was then that she felt him move against her as well one part of his body shifting against her bum which caused her to let out a small surprised moan.

She woke up just then to her own voice sitting up startled by what happened.

Logically, it was a normal reaction at least by Allison and Klaus's magazines and searching the internet during her one-hour free time on the computer when she was fifteen and got curious. But she couldn't help, but feel weird about it, and what it did to her own body.

She tried to push it away. They couldn't feel like that. She shouldn't feel like that. Five was her brother even if only by adoption, but it meant something. She didn't dare to type it into the computer, but she was sure if she tried to check up incest there would be less than positive reactions.

Sure, there was that something which was going on between Luther and Allison, but even they seemed to be pushing it away more, or maybe they just got better at hiding it for dad's sake. But it didn't matter, because she couldn't feel that way. It wasn't right. They were siblings and it would be horrible to feel that way.

She told herself that all day while her thoughts kept on returning to the feeling of him pressed against her and how wet she was when she woke up. She had to take an embarrassing shower trying to touch herself as little as possible since she felt like she could feel something which would make it all even more complicated.

That day she went to his room. After a while, dad ordered mom to lock it, but Vanya knew all she had to do was wait until mom went to charge and take the key. She wasn't planning anything sinister there. She just went to sit on his bed for a bit imagining that he was still there.

She avoided looking at his walls covered with equations and formulas which got him to leave in the first place and focused on the floor instead before she lied down on his bed.

It still smelled like him, but also not like him. It smelled like the Five who left, but not the Five who had been visiting her own bed. The present Five smelled often like ash, and dirt and something Vanya didn't even know what it was. She found her sheets covered in dirt or mud plenty of times, but at the same time, she noticed that sometimes he was clean like he tried to remain some hygiene not to ruin her bed. She wondered if he was somewhere in the wilderness then.

The thought of someone as polish as Five in the woods made her chuckle. It also explained why he never took her there. She was even worse with nature than him.

Her smile faded as she stopped kidding herself. She knew that wasn't the reason he was away, or that he was somewhere in the forest having a good time.

She knew so since she felt the warm wet tear on her fingers or the ash. Wherever he was, it was not a paradise. But at that moment right before she fell asleep although she wanted to go back to her room, she couldn't help, but wish she was there with him even if he was in the woods, even if he was in the center of the hell. He just wished she was there with him.

Maybe there, away from people, she could admit to herself out loud how she felt about him.

* * *

That night was the first time she fell asleep somewhere else than her bed.

The only time she didn't feel lonely or like she was hurting was when she was asleep, numbed by the pills or when she felt Five sleeping next to her. Even if she couldn't see him or talk to him, it helped that he was there. It was everything for her that he was there.

Maybe because of her thoughts or what happened the previous day, she dreamed about Five. She couldn't really picture his face, but she knew it was him. She dreamed he was on top of her kissing her chin and then her lips his body naked. She could almost feel it, but it was different than when she felt him touching her right before she would wake up. She knew this was a dream. She could actually feel it wasn't real. Maybe that was the reason she didn't feel any remorse as she kissed him back pull toward her. It wasn't the most vivid of the dreams, but she knew what they were most likely doing, and how it made her feel.

When she finally felt the familiar shifting of the bed and Five's body pressed against her own she found his hips jerking against hers the familiar feeling of his cock against her bottom trying to push its way into against her. She found herself going wet soaking through her underwear. Then she heard him let out the most erotic sound right against her ear, and to her absolute frustration and shame woke up. His voice sounded so different. All her brothers' voices had gone through the mutation and now sounded different more manly. She wished she could hear Five's voice. She would have forgotten how it sounded completely if it wasn't for that interview she found online one day from their first mission.

Without thinking about she found herself leading her hand into her pajamas and underwear. She never really saw the appeal of getting herself off in the morning. It always seemed to take too long because she wasn't wide awake the way she was at night, but as that morning she thought about the feeling of Five's body pressed behind hers and came quicker than ever, imagining it was his fingers touching her.

* * *

Several nights passed in the same fashion. Vanya's days were filled between plans for her life outside the academy and the feeling of Five close to her for those few blissful moments before she would wake up.

This morning she realized she once again lost the piece of paper with her message to find. She found it by her side and put it on top of her chest of drawers to later put it back on her wrist. She knew it wouldn't do any good, but it was a habit.

She went on with her day. She already got a scholarship and was assigned a dorm room, by the beginning of the semester. She decided she wouldn't even wait for her birthday to leave after all.

Once it was time for the bed she took the piece of paper ready to put it on her wrist when she noticed a small piece of paper under her bed.

She picked it up and unfolded it.

_Where/when are you?_

It was her note written in her handwriting. She immediately jumped at the other paper and unfolded it.

_I'm stuck. I'm trying to find a way back. 1_ _st_ _April 2019 – Go to the bunker on Wells Street, and don't come out! I love you._

Vanya sat down on her bed as if someone had hit her over the head with a sack of potatoes. She reread his words over and over again before she let out a hysterical chuckle.

So all this time, he was doing the same thing she was and trying to send her a message.

She covered her face with her hands shamelessly sobbing and crying. So it wasn't all in her head. It was real. He was outside and he was stuck and trying to get back.

_I love you_

With tears still falling down her face, she rushed to grab a pen and wrote on her piece of paper.

_I love you too. I'm waiting._

She wasn't sure if she would even be able to give this one to him, but it didn't stop her from feeling happier than she did in years.

She got ready to bed tying the paper to her wrist again knowing it would once again take a while for her to fall asleep.

As she was drifting off, she sat back up again knowing it would take her even longer to fall asleep again now.

She sat there on her bed Five's words echoing through her mind even if they were spoken in his young voice instead of his old one.

Biting her lip she hoped it was true what Luther said about dad no long recording their rooms as she slowly started to unbutton her PJ shirt. She nicely set it to the ground feeling the chilly air of her room hitting her body and making her nipples hard. She was naked in her room plenty of times. She dressed and undressed of course, but she was never naked like this for a different purpose.

She took a deep breath as if gathering more courage before she pulled her pants and panties down. Even when getting undressed she was never fully naked like this. It made her feel a bit strange and uncomfortable, but at the same time thrilled and curious.

She pulled the covers on top of her knowing she would most likely kick them off her like every night.

She rolled to her side and as hard as it was, she tried to fall asleep like this pushing her excitement and nervousness to down to do so.

Luckily she dreamed of nothing that night, at least she couldn't remember it, so the moment she felt him beside her it was like she just closed her eyes, and he was there which was better than if she had to suffer through some silly dream.

She wished she could talk. She wished she could tell him she got his message, and she loved him too. When she felt his body pressed against her, chest to chest, she moaned a bit, but luckily didn't wake up yet. He was naked just as she was, and she felt his cock throbbing against her while her leg hooked over his side which led him to pressed his tip right against her. She wanted more. She wanted to touch him, and kiss him, and say she loved him, but her brain wasn't working yet, and before she knew it she was once again awake feeling wet and bothered and only the feeling of him against her and a few drops of his pre-cum on her sheets a reminder that he was really there.

The piece of paper was still on her wrist, but she hoped that her being naked told him all she felt. It had to.

* * *

Vanya moved out, finished school, got a job, and wrote a book. She was feeling lonely most of the day, but at night when she turned on her heat so she wouldn't catch a cold. She would strip all her clothes and lay naked on her bed waiting through whatever dream she had and then enjoyed for a few blissful moments Five's body against her own. Sometimes they touched, something they just laid next to each other. Sometimes they were both naked, but other times she felt Five had too many clothes on. Whenever he was it must have been winter because she could feel how he was freezing against her body.

Their touches could be soft and teasing at the same time, and Vanya loved and hated them knowing with the adding years she wanted more and more of them. She wanted to wake up and for him to be next to her. She sometimes after she opened her eyes closed them back and tried to pretend he was.

When Ben died she felt her tears slide down his chest and wondered if he woke up with it being wet. She cried all through two days when after he died. She thought she would never stop.

They managed to exchange four notes in total.

_I'm stuck. I'm trying to find a way back. 1_ _st_ _April 2019 – Go to the bunker on Wells Street, and don't come out! I love you._

_I love you too. I'm waiting._

_I miss you, I'm sorry I left._

_I'm sorry I didn't stop you. I miss you too. I hope you're okay. Are you okay?_

She tried to leave him a full letter but it only ended on the floor or tangled with the sheets. She wondered how many letters he tried to send her, but failed.

Vanya only ever lost hope once, when a former colleague showed interested in her. She was just so lonely without Five, and his touches were almost painful when she knew she wouldn't be with him when they woke up. She fell asleep with him and woke up to the horrible realization she didn't have Five come to visit her that night. She broke it off right that morning and called in sick spending the whole day anxious and worried that she messed up and she would never get to feel Five next to her.

As if he knew about it he gripped her tighter that next morning to remind her who she belonged to even in their subconsciousness.

Sometimes she dreamed of him actually being there touching and kissing her, or just talking to her like they used to, but she knew those were actual dreams. The only time he was really with her was on the bridge of their waking up. She cherished those moments. Growing up the way they did she was used to having very little and enjoying it even more because of it. So as an adult, she was used to having only these brief moments with Five enjoying every second of it, trying to expand them for as long as possible no matter the pain. Having some time with him was better than none time with him.

She tried to fall asleep during the day or force a sleeping pill into her, but she would only wake up without even feeling Five. Maybe because he wasn't asleep as well, maybe because they were only allowed that one interaction a day. She didn't dwell on it too much after that just like she didn't dwell on those times she tried to sleep with a camera recording her. She saw nothing out of the ordinary except for the slightest of glitch. She wondered if that was when Five was appearing next to her or just a coincidence. It still wouldn't do her much good if she couldn't use it to make him stay.

By the time the year 2019 came rolling she started to believe she would meet him on the 1st April in the bunker, he wrote her about. She managed to find a way how to get inside and locked in wondering why would that of all the places be the one he would appear in. She was growing impatient wondering if she was right, and hoping she would finally get to see him.

Sometimes if she saw a man with the same bone structure or wide green eyes and dark hair she wondered if Five would look like that. He was taller now. Much taller than her. She felt it in the way their bodies tangled sometimes while they were trying to get more of each other before they would wake up. She didn't mind him being taller than her. She wanted to know if he would be able to lift her up and carry her.

She tried to feel pathetic thinking such foolish things when she was almost thirty. And yet she fantasized about a lot of things he would be able to do with her.

That night was the first night she somehow managed to touch his lips with her own. It was delicate, and his lips were chapped and dry, and it was the best kiss of Vanya's life when she felt him ever so slightly kiss her back before she woke up.

* * *

On her way from work, she found out about dad's death. By then she hadn't seen the man in six years or the rest of her family. Not since the book, even rarely before it.

She decided she didn't have much to lose by coming to the funeral. All in all, he was her dad too. Maybe she was a masochist. The meeting went as well as expected with Diego's bitter comments, Allison's awkward attempts to make things right with her, Luther trying to tower and act as a leader again, and Klaus being well _Klaus_.

When they heard the noise outside and saw Number Five looking thirteen again falling out of the portal of blue light, she thought she was dreaming. That maybe she just overslept and this was a dream because why would Five come today eight days earlier and why would he look the same as he did when he left when she wanted to see him all grown up like her now?

'Shit,' he said while looking at her, and honestly she had no idea what was going on, but she thought _shit_ was a very good reaction to it.

She tried to play it casual in front of the others, not sure she could ask about...well _them_ , not sure if this Five even knew about it until he mentioned he was fifty-eight.

He looked over at her when he said it as he was making himself a sandwich, and she couldn't keep the confusion off her face. Fifty-eight? So he was away for forty-five years? Did that mean they only continued to meet in between their sleeping and waking up?

She let the others have their moment with him as usual before she got up and went out of the kitchen. She could tell they were all looking at her, but she continued to walk all the way to his room. Mom must have stopped locking it when they left.

She sat down on his bed keeping her eyes on the floor instead of the walls which made Five leave her and waited. She knew he would find her eventually unless she didn't suffer a stroke and this wasn't all in her head.

'I'm sorry was I boring you down there?' he asked as he walked in not even looking at her just full on rushing to his closet going over his old uniforms.

'I would have waited in my bed, but they tore my old room down after I moved out,' she said and heard him pause in moving the hangers before he turned around slightly to look at her.

His expressed was softer now. More like the one she remembered from when they were kids.

She stood up, 'I thought you would come to the bunker or the 1st of April.'

He blinked letting go of his uniform completely and turning to her fully, 'Why?'

'I thought we would...,' she stopped the anxiety and feeling like a fool now getting to her. Maybe she got it all wrong. Maybe it was all in her head. Maybe he was never there. Maybe he never came and she was insane and made it all up?

She shook her head trying to shake out her own thoughts before she went to the door. She was stopped by Five who teleported in front of her closing the door with his back looking at her just as panicked as she felt, _'Vanya, wait.'_

'It's nothing,' she said, but her voice betrayed her revealing all her emotions. She left her pills in her jacket. She needed to take one.

' _Please,'_ he said his voice so soft and so young, she closed her eyes, 'I'm sorry, I thought...I was wrong.'

When she felt his hand against her neck and his breath on her face she gasped pressing her head against his touch recognizing it instantly.

_No. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't in her head. This was real. He was really coming to her every morning before she woke up._

His hands might have been younger and soft and gone were the scars and the roughness which was adding with every new year from manual work of some sort, but they were still his hands, and the touch was still the same.

She opened her eyes. His eyes were buried into hers showing emotions she felt as well. Love. Desperation. Sadness. Urgency.

' _Five,_ _'_ she said, and he pressed his forehead against hers. They were the same height again with him being young somehow she didn't mind it at all. It felt more intimate that they were the same face level like this.

'What happened?'

'Something very bad will happen on April the 1st and I wanted you to be safe in the bunker. I wasn't sure I would make it back in time,' he explained while still looking at her.

She sighed with relief. So he knew. So he really knew about their meetings.

Her hands touched his face. It was so young, ' _God_ , I was scared it didn't happen. That you didn't remember.'

'I remembered. I felt you, I felt you next to me every time before I woke up for seventeen years...and then nothing. Then you were gone,' he said his voice breaking at the end as he swallowed.

'I'm sorry,' she apologized not sure what for, but he shook his head their foreheads still pressed, 'It wasn't your fault everyone was gone. I was in the future all alone. Everyone was gone. You were the only one I had at least once a day for those brief moments and then you were gone too.'

She let out a small sob for him. What he spoke about sounded heartbreaking. She remembered that one time she woke up without feeling him, she couldn't imagine doing so for twenty-eight years. She would have died without him. She couldn't imagine not having him anymore at all.

'I love you,' she said her voice breaking a bit too as she felt another sob leave her throat.

He kissed her pulling her close, one hand on her neck while the other went to her back. It wasn't like this morning. This was more dominant, more desperate. Now they could move. Now they could touch wherever they wanted to, they could see each other and talk.

She kissed him back just as hungrily pressing her entire body against his not giving a damn that it was young again. She missed him so much. She missed him, and now he was here with her, alive, and well, and she didn't care anymore. She just wanted him close. He didn't protest, he pulled her against him while devouring her mouth they both waited too long.

When the door suddenly open Vanya didn't even notice. She was too preoccupied with Five's tongue moving against hers before he let go of her back and shoved the door close.

'Damn it!' they heard from the other side as they broke the kiss.

Vanya hugged Five burying her face against his neck while he must have been still holding the door.

'We want to start. Have you seen Vanya?' asked Luther from the other side.

'I'll get her,' said Five before she leaned away from him letting him go, 'You should change.'

She said noting that his adult suit looked ridiculously big on him. She forgot he used to be just as small as she was still.

* * *

The funeral ended with Luther and Diego fighting. It didn't surprise her too much. She didn't forget how her family was.

'Go home, and I will come later. I need to take care of something. I will explain everything when I come, alright?' he told her as he took her to the side.

'I will be waiting for you,' she told him taking his hand for a moment before she squeezed it.

At home, she wasn't sure what to do first or at all before he would come, but in the end, she just made him a sandwich, turn on the heat and went to bed naked like she did every night since she was seventeen.

He came an hour after her, she wasn't asleep yet. She couldn't sleep. She still found it hard to believe, even when he came to the room still looking thirteen.

'What happened to your arm?' she asked as she watched him strip down. Even in the dark, she saw the cut and the blood.

He shook his head in response, but she got out of the bed and went to get her first aid kit. She nursed his arm while they were both sitting naked on the bed. Their nudity somehow not bothering either of them.

'I thought you would be shy of me when I'm like this,' he said with a smirk. _Gosh_ , she missed that smirk.

'I'm way passed shy of anything when it comes to you,' she said honestly hoping he understood how much she meant with those words.

He pulled her closer and the two of them laid down on the bed tangled with each other both of them familiar with this scenario even if Vanya grew out of the feeling of him being her height and this size.

'I don't have much time.'

'You said it happens on the 1st? There is still time,' she whispered against his lips.

'Not enough.'

'Just enough.'

He smirked some more before he kissed her again, 'You can't imagine how much I missed you.'

'I can,' she said.

'I missed you more,' he said kissed her again, 'I missed you longer.'

She didn't argue with him since she had a feeling he was right even if she couldn't imagine him missing her more with how much she already missed him, then again she didn't suffer through years without him completely the way he did.

When they broke the kiss they laid in each others' arms with a blanket over them for once. It was quiet and yet there was noise inside the room.

She pressed her hand against his cheek, 'Stop thinking. Tomorrow. Tonight let's just sleep. We have time.'

'Very little time,' he said.

'More than we used to have before,' she replied shutting him up. She knew she won for this time.

He sighed, 'I'm gonna get my old body back. But...don't be surprised it will be old.'

She found it a bit adorable that he looked so worried.

She hugged him tighter against her, 'I don't care as long as it's you. Younger or older as long as it's you I don't care.'

He was quiet for a moment before he nuzzled his face against her.

'I love you.'

After that, the two of them went silence.

They pulled each other close lying in each other arms until for the first time together they fell asleep with one another instead of woke up.

* * *

**Koniec**


	2. Chapter 2

Everything was burning.

That was the absolute first thing Five noticed as he made that final third jump and stopped looking around the ruined city. Everything was burning or in ashes. It looked like someone just threw a nuclear bomb on the premises. It looked like he was in hell.

That was his second thought.

The third one was about Vanya and the others.

He tried to run in the direction of the house. It was just as ruined and damaged as everything else. He screamed for her, for Ben, for their father, for anyone. No one answered. No one was there.

_**No! NO! NO!** _

This wasn't right. This wasn't real. With all the power he could gather together he tried to go back, travel back a day, a month, a year, anywhere but there, but nothing happened. His powers, one of the only things he ever thought he could count on had left him. Betrayed him in his biggest time of need.

Number Five fell to his knees and tried to wake up.

_**It's a dream. It can't be real. It can't be real. I can't be...stuck.** _

But he was, and with all the pity and venom he could hold in his heart he realized his father was right, and he made the fatal mistake by time traveling. Now he was stuck. Now he was all alone.

For the first time since he was four years old, he wanted to cry, but pride forced him to wipe the few tears which ran down his cheeks and instead he started to gather as much information as he could about where he was and what was happening.

He was in the future at least 2019. He couldn't believe it. He was gone for seventeen years. Vanya and all the others had to be twenty-nine now. It was surreal. He found an old newspaper and concluded that the _apocalypse,_ as he started to refer to the future he was living, it had to happen on the 1st of April 2019, and he would find a way to come back home and stop it.

By night falls he realized instead of evidence and clues he should have been looking for shelter and supplies. He found an old coffee house which was half torn apart and half still standing and took cover there trying to fit himself in the ruined half of the old sofa which was covered with dirt and ash smelling like an ashtray.

It was only as he was lying on that sofa did he finally after the whole day allowed himself to start crying like the little boy that he was lost in the future. He was a fool. He should have listened to dad. He should have listened to Vanya. He shouldn't have time travel before he knew all there was about it. Now he was stuck. Now he was alone, and everyone and everything was gone. He could see Vanya's face as she shook her head at him, her final attempt to stop him. Did she hate him now? Was she upset that he ran away from her like that? Without a goodbye?

He swore he would never run away from her without a goodbye before every mission. How mad was she that he broke that process?

He didn't know how long it had taken before he finally fell asleep with the hysterical crying which along with the ash and smoke filling his lungs was making it hard to breathe.

He didn't almost dream of anything that night, and he should be grateful for that because if he had dreamt of his family or more of this future he would probably cry in the morning as well. Since he couldn't find anyone or hear anyone, it was safe to say everyone was dead. He found a few burnt or partly burnt corpses, he just wished it wasn't anyone he knew.

Just on the bridge of waking up, when he could feel the heat of the fires and the sun on his skin, he suddenly felt the heat disappear as if he was shielded from the direct sun and the sofa underneath him felt much softer than it did a moment again.

Five could also hear breathing. Someone was next to him. Someone who was softly and even breathing close to him who couldn't be very heavy as the bed felt like it was carrying only his own weight.

He couldn't open his eyes to look who it was for a moment almost sure, he was just in his bed and he forgot all about the time-traveling.

He felt someone lightly touched his hand. The touch was nice even if the hands were a bit cold. They were soft though but he could feel a tiny cut on the index finger.

_Vanya_

He recognized her. As she usually had little cuts like that from practicing on the violin occasionally cutting her fingers in the process.

He wanted to say her name and ask why did she come to his bed, but he couldn't speak or open his eyes. He just felt her take his hand and entwined their fingers and brought the back of his palm to her lips pressing a tender kiss against it. It was calming in a way.

And that was when Five opened his eyes only to be blinded by the sun and realize he was still in the future laying on the sofa all alone.

He cursed feeling like he could cry again just from his dreams playing such cruel tricks on him when he spotted the back of his palm was a bit wet. He didn't know why his brain was so interested in him drooling on his hand.

He shook his head and helplessly brushed his hair painfully aware that he really was here, while Vanya and the others were left waiting for him at home. It had been a day, and he already missed her.

The little kiss on the back of the hand. He remembered it was their thing when they were kids and Vanya used to sneak up into his room late at night. She used to be scared someone would come and take her, but she thought if they were together the kidnapper would have a hard time doing so. So she started to come to his room, he let her. They always entwined each others' fingers and pressed their lips against the back of each others' hands.

Looking at the damaged world around him Five wanted nothing more than to wake up in that bed with her again. He wouldn't even mind if the others knew and made fun of him. Anything was better than being in that place.

* * *

Five spent the next day looking for supplies and anything useful which would somehow help him survive until his powers would start to work again. The boy divided his daily schedule just like the one they had in the Academy. He had time for eating, time for looking for clues and scavenging for anything useful, time for building shelter, time for rest, and time for working on his powers.

He felt pretty good about himself trying to look at it as a new mission from dad. He needed to do his part, and all would be well just like always.

_He didn't know what he would do if it wasn't_.

That night just like before he didn't dream of anything until the moment he felt the sofa had gone softer and Vanya's breath was on his face. Without opening his eyes he reached for her hand this time and entwined their fingers the same way she did yesterday. He even pressed his lips against the back of her hand taking as much comfort as the touch could offer. Anything just so he wouldn't feel the hopelessness of the world he was stuck in.

Vanya kissed his hand as well, and Five couldn't help but think that it was almost like she was really there. He remembered dreams. Dreams were surreal even if you didn't know they were dreams you didn't feel anything, you didn't feel touch or the breath of someone else on your skin. So why did he feel Vanya like she was actually there with him on his bed?

Once Five open his eyes once again it was like the whole bed along with Vanya's hand vanished from his grip and he couldn't help, but think about it. He never had the same dream happen to him twice. He never had a dream that real before either.

Before he went on with his daily duties, he took a moment to look at his palm. Vanya held it so softly. He was grateful even if it hurt to have her for a moment only for her to be gone the next. Still, he found some comfort in her being there with him for a while and the fact that if she held him so softly, she couldn't be mad that he left. It bothered him even if he tried to push it down since he had more pressing matters. But it bothered him.

During the dinner, he looked at her and shook her head at him not to go, and he still did. He still left her. He still left without her. He left without a goodbye.

_Please, don't be mad. Please. I'm going to come home, alright? Just wait for me a bit and I will come home._

He was sure he would. He had to. He left Vanya all alone in the house with Reginald being a dick and the others ignoring her. She needed him to come home.

* * *

That third day of his, in the apocalypse, he found Luther, Diego, Allison, and Klaus and to his horror he realized he did more than left her in the house. He left her and the others to die. He skipped his schedule and spent the whole day burring them with a stick and his hands because he had no shovel or other tools. He didn't even try to look for food that day, just went to lay on the sofa trying not to cry himself to sleep or imagine the dead look in his siblings' eyes.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I wasn't there_. _I will fix it. I will come back and I will save you. I promise. I promise. I will fix it._

He dreamed about one of the Umbrella Academy's mission. Not a particular one, just some dreamed up mission where they were fighting some bad guys and wearing masks. His mind apparently liked him to suffer even more than he already was. Then again it was his own damn fault he was thinking about it. But how could he not when he felt how cold were their hands and faces?

Once again by the end of it, he was lying on a soft bed with Vanya. This time, maybe because he was weak from starvation, he didn't reach for her or she for him, but he knew she was there. Right there by his side, close to him. It was enough.

He woke up to the sound of his growling stomach demanding some food. He looked at it with an angry frown that he cut the dream short, but then started to think about it.

Three nights in the row, the same dream. It couldn't have been random. Even if people could dream about the same thing, this felt different. The mission he dreamt about was a dream. Even if he didn't know it at the time of having it, the moment he felt Vanya's breathing next to him, he knew it was one. But what he experienced with Vanya was different.

Five's hand touched the sofa cushion. It wasn't soft like the sheet he felt before. It was a completely different material. His dreams were never that vivid, that detailed. Dreams usually focused on some things but completely left out others, so why did this feel like it wasn't a dream at all.

He also felt that he was on the edge of the bed, like literally on the edge and if he rolled he would have fallen down. His bedroom bed side was against the wall, but Vanya's headboard was against the wall in her small room.

He went along with his schedule that day, but he couldn't stop think about it.

* * *

As time went by in the world where Five was the only survivor he found a way to stay alive. It was hard, brutal at times, but the smallest hope not bigger than the teardrop he sometimes found running down his cheek was keeping him that way. Hope that he would make it back home. Hope that one day he would wake up and find Vanya really laying next to him. He imagined he would apologize for leaving without a goodbye. He tried to tell her many times, at least to bizarre dream Vanya, but he could never open his mouth and say the words out loud only thinking them over and over as he woke up and found himself alone.

With the passing months, he made a new camp closer to the Academy, east from the graves of his siblings where he buried them. He tried not to spiral by thoughts about where could have Vanya and Ben gone and why weren't they with the rest of them. Some days it was easier than the others.

He didn't lie to himself with a false hope that they could survive instead he focused on trying to get his powers to work and come back home and stop the apocalypse from happening altogether.

Today he found another survivor in the ruins. A lovely looking young woman with very kind and intelligent eyes and pink lips.

He named her Delores. She seemed to approve of the name. At first, he hesitated, but before he knew it he started to talk to her about what was on his mind and his ideas about his dreams with Vanya. Apparently, another thing he missed about Vanya was her ability to listen to his non-stop ramble. He might as well add it to the never-ending list of all the things he missed about her.

It always helped him when he vented to her, it might be productive to try it with Delores. She had some interesting inputs on the topic. Reminding him about when he read some psychological phenomena and how dreams are just the brain's way of processing what it didn't have time during the time Five was awake. True, but the feeling.

This morning before he woke up he felt that Vanya wasn't on her usual side but rather on her back and he could swear her hair was pressed against his face. He could smell it. Even when most of the fires were being put out little by little there was no way he could find that smell here.

Maybe it was just his mind accessing the memory of her hair, but there was also another thing. They smell like honey. Like the shampoo Allison used. Vanya had her own strawberry one, so why would she use Allison's? Maybe she accidentally mistook the bottle.

_Whoa!_

Was he really suggesting that he actually smelled Vanya's hair? It was just a dream, right?

He fell asleep that night looking at Delores and wondering about the dreams even more than before. Something didn't add up.

Once again he felt the familiar sensation of his hand-made sleeping bag being replaced with a nice warm and soft bed. This time he was the one on his back while Vanya was in a weird fetus position. He could tell it from the way he felt her knees by his side. She wasn't wearing her PJs pants but the nightgown ones.

Her hand found him and she gripped the front of his sweater. He put away his uniform a few weeks ago when it got colder and the jacket was too torn to wear anyway.

She was shaking. Was she cold? He noticed a while back that in his dreams she usually didn't have the blanket. She must have kicked her down.

He found his hand pressing against her head.

She was crying in her sleep.

He wanted to say it would be okay, but then he felt her jump a bit startled and he woke up to find himself all alone in the sleeping back.

He was worried even though he shouldn't be. It was only a dream, but Vanya was crying. She was upset about something.

He looked down at his clothing and he found his sweater was wrinkled in the spot dream Vanya was gripping it.

That couldn't be right.

As he put his hand over the spot it felt unlikely for some reason that he gripped himself. Once Five examined his sweater more he spotted the little damp spot on his side where Vanya had her knees. There was a bit of dried bloodstain. He looked all over and under the sweater, but the blood was 100 percent, not his. Maybe he got it there sooner. He had a few scratches here and there, nothing uncommon when he had to live in a harsh world like this, but it still seemed like it wasn't his. Was it hers? Could it have been hers? Did she cry because it hurt when she pressed the open wound on her knee against the fabric of his clothing? And why was she hurt in the first place?

All the thoughts then stopped as Five realized something much more ground-breaking than all his questions.

'I was really there,' he said and looked at Delores his whole being buzzing from the excitement as well as shock.

'I was...in her bed with Vanya,' he said and put his fingers into his hair. It was true, right? He was really there with her. He had to be. Or was it all in his head? Was he going crazy?

_Shit! He had to know!_

* * *

Due to his endless effort, a couple of mornings later, Five was able to get his hand into her hair, even if he wasn't thinking and even wasn't fully away, he silently asked for forgiveness upfront before he yanked it causing him to wake up startled for some reason.

He sat up and took a few deep breaths before finally Five looked into his hand and let out a hysterical chuckle. There in his hand between his fingers were three long brown hairs that could only belong to his beloved Vanya. He would recognize her hair anywhere.

Although it had been months Five once again found himself crying, but this time he didn't feel ashamed about it, just happy because now he knew he didn't lose his powers at all instead of he was using them every single morning coming back over and over again to the one person who mattered the most to him.

He tied the delicate hairs into a knot and carefully hid them into a small watch right where a picture of someone you care for should be for safekeeping. Every time he ever felt down during the day or hopeless he would look at that hair and had the new rush of hope. He could still time travel. He was still time traveling. And he was coming back to Vanya.

* * *

Unfortunately very soon after he figured out what he was doing, Five also found out that because of it he couldn't use his powers. While brainstorming with Delores, he came to the conclusion that he must have been using up all his energy when he was time traveling to Vanya while he was in his hypnagogia. So when he was fully awake he couldn't use them. This also proved to be not entirely true as he did try not to fall asleep for over fifty hours only to be cranky, exhausted, and not making a single jump. The moment he fell asleep, however, Vanya was right there next to him sleeping as well as if she did not have slept either.

Maybe it was a new aspect of his powers rather than the ability to time travel.

'I have to be in that state where the brain is finishing the sleeping circle and going to wake up soon, maybe a second or two before that. In that state whatever happens in my brain is what gets me to be in Vanya's room in the exact moment, she must be asleep as well,' he said. He had no doubts that if Vanya was awake and aware of his comings and going she would try to stop him.

'It's like we're connected when we're asleep,' he said out loud immediately feeling embarrassed in front of his companion. He didn't exactly plan to tell her that out loud. Sure, he and Vanya were closer to each other than with the rest of their siblings. They carried a special bond feeling a bit left out from the others both by choice or forced by their father. He felt more attached to Vanya than with the rest of his siblings. It was easier to talk to her about pointless as well as important things. She listened and offered her advice rarely being judgemental or showing an ugly side the way the rest of their family did. If Five had to pick, he would pick her in the heartbeat. Where their father saw it as a flaw, Five found Vanya being _ordinary_ the best thing ever. She wasn't proud and annoying like the rest of them. Himself included. She was just nice and caring. She had similar thinking to his own only chuckling at his oddness instead of abandoning him like the others. Even if she didn't agree with him he valued her opinion because she was very rational and kind.

He found himself looking at the stars wondering if she could see them as well from her window in her bed and wishing he could somehow control his powers enough to wake up with her there. He wished for it more than anything in the world right then and there.

'I'm sorry for leaving,' he whispered right before he dozed off feeling the rain falling down on his face right before he did. He didn't have time or mind to find shelter.

That night he felt Vanya touch his cheek and hair and when he woke up he felt the mud on his face had little fingerprints. He wondered if she knew he was coming back as well now.

* * *

Ever since then, the touching started. It didn't happen exactly every night. Five couldn't control his action when he was in the state of dreaming but waking up so sometimes they just laid next to each other their body heats mixing next to each other, while other times they touched. He could sometimes feel her fingers against his cheek and other times he found his against hers or his hand in her hair, their knees would bump or he could feel her chest close to his. Five adored all of their little moments together regardless of the touching. It was the only comfort he had so far and he would take whatever he could get even if it was just hearing Vanya's steady breathing close to his ear. Still, the touches...were precious.

They were the only real human contact he had in the post-apocalypse world, so rationally he knew why his body often ache when he woke up without touching her or her touching him. He lacked the physical human contact. Delores was very important to him, and he knew she tried to help him as much as she could, but nothing compared to the feeling of Vanya pressing her hand against his. Her touch was so delicate like everything about her bringing him comfort beyond imagination. He memorized her touch. Every morning when he woke up and Vanya was gone, her hand escaping from his hold, he could still feel a phantom of her touch. Then a new morning would come and Five would realize that echo of her touch was nothing compared to the new one with her hand against his cheek or his face buried into her neck.

_I miss you more than you will ever know._

He wished they could talk. He panicked yesterday because it took him a moment to remember her voice. The sound of it, the tempo, the height. All of it was gone, and he was terrified that he forgot until he remembered her laughing when he called Edison a hypocrite and a dumbass and remembered her saying.

_Manners, Five._

He closed his eyes in relief. He still remembered the way she said his voice. He still remembered her voice. He then could clearly hear in his mind her saying other things, her voice loud and clear and the same.

But it still wasn't the same. Even if he could feel her next to him, even if he still remembered her voice and could see how she looked like in his memories, it wasn't the same. He wanted the real thing. He wanted to wake up in a bed with her and tell her _good morning_ and talk to her. He wanted _Vanya._

It was seven-hundred and thirty-seven days since Five time-traveled. This time Vanya was on her side but with her back toward him. He felt so as his arms went around her and he pushed her toward his chest feeling how nicely warm she was against him. He somehow managed to bury his face against the back of her hair. It smelled like strawberry shampoo and Vanya. He wanted to stay like this forever. He wanted to hold her in his arms like this forever. He didn't need to wake up, he just wanted to hold her close like this with and know she was in his arms alive and safe and they were together.

As she sighed and he woke up, he didn't immediately get up. Instead, he remained laying in his sleeping bag on the ground having the most selfish thoughts he ever did. He thought about how instead of shaking her head, Vanya would run after him. He would take her hand and time travel with her. He knew it was ridiculous because he never managed to teleport with a person let alone time travel, but it was his fantasy so screw it. He thought about how he would be now with her here. Even in this horrible and hard place, they would be together laying next to each other like that arguing who would go get water or who would make breakfast or who would take Delores out for a walk.

He could picture it, and it got him to laugh because he could only imagine the disgusted but hilarious look on Vanya's face as she would have to eat cockroaches. She was such a house girl. She hated the outdoors. Sleeping under the stars in a sleeping bag would have been her worst nightmare. He told Delores about it later and they laughed a bit together on Vanya's behave.

'But she would do the right thing in the end,' he told her, 'Even if she would hate to do something, she always wanted to help. She always knows what's the right thing to do. '

And so did Five. So even if he had selfish thoughts from time to time, he was glad that Vanya wasn't here with him. As much as he missed her, he much rather had her safe and sound in her bed in their house which was like a fortress for now protecting her instead of somewhere else under the ruins of the city dead.

* * *

Another year went by and Five found Vanya's book. He was astonished as he saw the picture of her playing the violin as a thirteen-year-old on the cover. She was just as he remembered.

His fingers trembled as he slowly let them move through the picture his own mind creating the melody he remembered hearing from her room so many times before, almost like she was playing right then and there from the picture.

He turned it around and found the other photo. The photo of the adult Vanya who grew up without him in the past.

_You look pretty, Vanya._

He said even if only in his head. She always looked well pretty, but there was something very alluring about grown-up Vanya. He felt his face heating up after he caught himself staring at the picture for almost twenty minutes.

Five tried to blame it on the fact that it was the first time he saw her three years, but at the same time, Delores's known look spoke louder than his denial.

'I...I always thought we would grow up together,' he found himself saying to his companion, 'Me and her...together.'

He wasn't surprised his heart was beating like a drum with the realization of what he really meant. Maybe he always knew. Maybe he just wasn't sure how to deal with it. Living the way they did, growing up the way that did. It held little meaning to him that he was _her brother_.

_Manners, Five._

_There are no manners in the apocalypse, Vanya._

He was left sitting there staring at her picture and thinking about all those things he should have told her before he left. But would she be ready? Would she accept them? Did she feel the same?

He brought the book with him to his camp that day and read it all before bedtime. He was shocked to find out about Ben dying on a mission so many years before. Could he have saved him if he had been there? It was only then that it occurred to Five that this could help him. Given how small her bed was and the fabric of her PJs he felt against his skin from time to time. She had to be his age which meant they still had fourteen years to stop the apocalypse.

That night he dug through the things he brought to the camp and wrote on a piece of paper a message about Ben's death. He wasn't sure if he would be able to give it to her, but he would sure as hell try.

However, once again fate or God or universe or whatever you believe in decided to screw him over because the moment he felt Vanya bury her face against his chest crying he knew he was too late. The piece of paper was by his hand when he woke up and his shirt was wet from her tears.

He tore the note right then and there. It was useless. He knew Ben was already gone both in the future and the past. He couldn't save him more than he could safe Vanya or the others.

_Ben...forgive me..._

* * *

Since Ben, he realized, that he couldn't be cocky or proud anymore. Dad was right. Time-traveling was a crapshoot and now he was stuck. Since apart from his nightly visits to Vanya which he could not control, Five wasn't able to time travel back, it was a safe bet, that he wouldn't be able to ever time travel. He wouldn't stop trying of course, but if that was the case, he needed to try something else.

During his scavenging days, he came across an old bunker on what used to be Wells street. He wrote a new note now trying desperately to somehow leave it in her bed, but all his tries were proven failures as ever morning he found the little shit still somewhere near his sleeping back.

_I'm stuck. I'm trying to find a way back. 1_ _st_ _April 2019 – Go to the bunker on Wells Street, and don't come out! I love you._

He felt no shame writing the last part. If he wouldn't get a chance to ever tell her, he wanted her at least to know. She could take it any way she wanted. If she only wished for it to be some form a brotherly love so be it. He didn't care as long as there was a part of her that loved him back. Since he knew her well enough, he knew there was. She was Vanya after all. She cared for everyone.

His unsuccessful attempts didn't stop him from trying, but he was furious and frustrated every time. It also didn't help that he was starting to get painfully aware just how nice and warm Vanya's body was whenever it was pressed just right against him. Whenever he woke up, he simply reached into his pants thinking of her soft skin against his own, the weight of her body on his, her face the adult one in his mind as he came hard and quick imagining she was there with him. He tried not to think if she would be disgusted by what he was doing with the thoughts of her. Sometimes he thought it would maybe arouse her as well. He knew he was going crazy with ideas that maybe sometimes she touched herself in the middle of the night or morning thinking of him.

This morning right before he woke up he felt Vanya press closer to him as they were lying on his side. At first, it was nice, she was nicely warm and soft, and he felt his body come alive with her body so close to him. When she moved further, however, he felt his cock move against her bottom. It was natural. It wasn't like he could control his body in the state right before he would wake up. But to his absolute shock, he heard Vanya let out the most beautiful sound yet. She moaned, and he woke up sitting up astonished by the sensation of her against him and the sound.

_She moaned._

As he was still hard with seemingly no chance of it going away, not that he wanted to, Five quickly started to run his hands over his cock the sound of Vanya's moan playing on a loop in his mind.

He came harder than ever.

Rationally Five knew this was natural as well. Vanya was also asleep in the process of waking so, it didn't mean anything if she moaned. It was completely physical, but it didn't stop his heart from beating insanely and him from rambling to Delores about how it could also mean she did have feelings for him.

He knew it was selfish. Fuck! He knew he was being a selfish bastard because he was stuck here and if Vanya fell for him, she would most likely doom her life to waiting for him all alone when maybe she could have a real relationship with someone else in past. Her book didn't suggest it, but it also didn't give away anything about romantic feelings for him. But there were parts that were left open for interpretation. She obviously cared for him and was hurting beyond belief that he left. But she never mentioned the dreams, apparently, that was their secret. He was glad for that.

* * *

Five was a bit worried Vanya wouldn't want to sleep next to him anymore. That she would find a way to stop it. But at the same time, he knew her well enough to know she was too kind and good to do that to him.

He didn't dream of anything, just straight on went to the state of waking up, where Vanya was waiting for him. She was pressed against him like before and he found his hips jerking against her his cock enjoying the feeling of her bottom trying to find a way to push in. Gosh, he wondered if she felt the same about it later, but in that moment when he couldn't speak or think, he just enjoyed the sensation of her body against his like this his mouth letting out groans.

* * *

Several mornings passed and whatever Vanya was feeling she was still letting him press against her if his body did manage to move. Sometimes they just lie next to each other, and sometimes he tried to dry hump her. He took it for what it was a bit of pleasure in the world of nothing. There wasn't much he could do.

This morning was different, however, because Five woke up to find his little note wasn't in his hand anymore. He tried to find it all over his sleeping bag and near his camp wondering if by some miracle he might have given it to her.

His heart speeded up, and his thoughts went wild as he rushed his buzzing body to the bunker on Wells street.

_Nothing_.

He found nothing there. Just the bunker still standing without a scratch.

He swallowed trying to convince himself that maybe she only found it that morning so it would take time. He waited the whole day by it, but nothing happened nothing change. He started to think that maybe he couldn't save his past Vanya, but the past Vanya of the Five who jumped after him.

Five cursed shaking his head.

_That couldn't be right. She had to be here. Why wasn't she here?_

Her book was written five years before the apocalypse, he had no idea of knowing what happened to her after that. What if she died before just like Ben did?

Frustrated he barely got anything done that day. He just wanted to finally go to sleep and feel her, but he learned a long time ago that did not work. If he fell asleep during the day he woke up without her maybe because she wasn't asleep yet, or maybe because those wore some rules of his new ability he did not understand yet, so he had to suffer through the day being a jackass to Delores who then refused to talk to him, and just wait until he could go to sleep.

Once he was in his sleeping bag he couldn't seem to fall asleep which frustrated him even more. He needed her. He needed to feel Vanya more than anything. He needed to know that at least in the past she was alright.

He got up and started to undress because he felt he was being suffocated by his own clothing. He didn't know what would Vanya think of him being naked in her bed, but right now all he wanted to do was to feel more of her. He just had to. Not just for the sexual part, but just for the feeling. He needed the touch, her touch, her skin, _her_.

Maybe because he was naked, but Five dreamed of Vanya. He knew it was a dream and not the hypnagogia state because it wasn't bright or detailed enough, and he could actually see her. Because it was a dream, he decided to take full advantage of it, or his dream self did.

He put his hands on her neck and kissed her as hard as he could in a dream while pushing her down falling with her. He wasn't sure if they fell to the ground, or on the bed, or on his sleeping bag. All he cared about was that he was kissing her his hands running through her chest even if the feeling wasn't as good as the real thing. He cared only about the fact that she was there in his arms, her legs wide open for him. The dream ended with a sharp rip and suddenly he couldn't see anything just feel the real Vanya, his Vanya next to him. He was both happy and disappointed until he felt that her body was pressed against him, chest to chest, both of them naked.

He swallowed hard his body immediately reacting to hers. She was naked too. She wanted it too.

_Maybe she got the message and she loved him too._

His cock was throbbing against her between them when all of the sudden he felt her leg hooked over his side somehow leading him closer. His tip pressed right against her. It felt so painfully good and yet not enough. He found himself jerking his hips against her as if he tried to get close, get inside her.

_Fuck, he would give up his right arm just to be able to sink into her._

She moaned into his face, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her open mouth so he could capture and swallow that moan. It was hers, but it belonged to him. All her moans belonged to him.

He jerked his hips again and then felt the chilly morning of lying naked in his sleeping bag.

'Fuck!' he cursed loudly probably startling Delores before he took himself into his hand and jerked off shameless groaning for Vanya, the memory of her body against hers, her opening against his tip still imprinted in his mind.

Once he came and then came from his high he let himself smile blissfully for the first time in what felt weeks. She loved him back. She wanted him too. She was waiting for him. She got the message. Everything would be alright.

He skipped the rest of his schedule went to the bunker and even if she wasn't there he spent the rest of the day trying to teleport or time travel again. He was upset it didn't work, and the bunker was empty at the end of the day, but once again in the morning, he felt Vanya's naked body against his and all was alright.

_**He would come back to her. He had time after all.** _

* * *

Time went by for Five. Five years, eight years, ten years. Vanya moved from the house, he knew as he found himself in an even softer and bigger bed than before. He couldn't wait to be inside it with her for good.

Five still followed his schedule like a good soldier. Every morning after he woke up he had breakfast went to check the bunker, went to find new supplies and take Delores out for a walk, went to have lunch, trained his teleporting (he finally managed to spiral jump again even if he had fewer jumps than before), work on his equations trying to find the way back, had dinner, and went to sleep. Then right before he would wake up, he would be with Vanya who was laying naked next to him. Sometimes they were both naked. Sometimes it was too cold for him to be naked, but Vanya also was, he liked her that way. The one time she wore some PJ and was breathing troubled, he knew she was sick and he hated it because she was both sick and clothes. He always wanted her naked against him even if he couldn't. It somehow made him feel better. Sometimes they just laid next to each other, but Five tried to touch her as often as he could well at least his not yet awake brain and body did. He loved how warm and soft she was against him. He loved the noises she made when he touched her just right.

_I'm stuck. I'm trying to find a way back. 1_ _st_ _April 2019 – Go to the bunker on Wells Street, and don't come out! I love you._

_I love you too. I'm waiting._

_I miss you, I'm sorry I left._

_I'm sorry I didn't stop you. I miss you too. I hope you're okay. Are you okay?_

They managed to exchange four notes so far.

He missed her so much with every one of them. He tried to write her letters but so far he wasn't successful in leaving them with her.

Five kept all of her notes inside in a small box close to his sleeping bag but not close enough he would leave them accidentally with her. They meant more to him that she could possibly imagine.

He never stopped trying to get home back to her or try and experiment with his visits, but so far the only time he could be with her, was when he was in the state between asleep and waking up in the morning when she did the same. There was only one time that rule broke in the course of the seventeen years he was in the apocalypse. He wasn't sure what caused it, but just like that one time he told Delores he cared for her because she was his only companion and felt guilty like he was betraying Vanya in a way, he assumed it was the same. That morning he gripped Vanya tighter than ever and she let him pressing as close as possible as if she was apologizing.

He didn't blame her. He was all alone, even with Delores around he knew touching her wasn't the same. Vanya had multiple opportunities, she was a pretty young woman, he could forgive her one slip up as long as she knew who she belonged to. Just to be sure though, his fingers decided to push into her letting her walls clench around them while getting soaked in her warm and wetness.

When he woke up that morning, he couldn't help a smug smirk as he brought his fingers into his mouth tasting her while jerking off.

Sometimes he dreamt of her actually being there in the post-apocalypse world, or the mansion, or by the sea, or anywhere. Sometimes they just talked, her voice was still the voice of a thirteen-year-old. Other times, they kissed and touched and fucked. It wasn't like the real thing, but he would gladly take anything Vanya related his mind had to offer him. He was used to have her all day and all of her growing up to only have her in the morning before he woke up and only her body, not her mind, he would greedily and selfishly take anything more he could get. He was always a selfish person after all.

Then exactly seventeen years after he jumped, on the day of the apocalypse that he spent and even slept inside the bunker just to be sure he wouldn't miss her, was the first time she ever managed to press her cotton-candy soft lips against his chapped and dry ones making it all worth it. Of course, that was the last time he ever managed to feel her next to him.

Five waited the whole day and most of the night before he fell asleep that day, but the moment he woke up he realized he didn't visit her that morning, and the bunker was empty. Panicked kicked in, and he tried to fall asleep. Maybe he missed her somehow, maybe she came from work late, maybe she was still sleeping in the bunker.

His mind constructed many theories over the years. Maybe she woke up in the bunker, but three years before he told her about it, so she left and went to look for him. He started to look for her again, ignoring the looks of pity Delores was sending him as they both knew, if Vanya was somewhere out there, he would have met her already. He tried to find another logical explanation to what happened, but they all felt too cheap.

He became even more obsessed with trying to get back home working himself to exhaustion and insanity. He was losing it, and he knew it, but he was forgetting the sound of her voice and the feeling of her body pressed against him, and that was worse than any pain he felt before.

About a month after he stopped visiting her, he woke up screaming in agony for her.

_How was that fair? What did he do to deserve it? How could he be stuck in the future, all alone, and then lose the one person he had, the one hope he had? What the fuck did he do to deserve this? What?_

He cried for the first time since Ben died. He pretty much lost himself after that month. He still went with his schedule, but he stopped going to the bunker, he put away all her notes, the book, the watch with her hair. He tried to put her all away and focus on getting home and stopping the apocalypse. He erased her name from his daily talks to Delores talking about anything but her. It worked for almost eight months until he got drunk, and he stroke her face and kissed her cold and lifeless lips.

It was the first time he kissed anyone since Vanya. It was the first time, he allowed himself to think about her and the kiss. He apologized to Delores who was as understanding as ever. She knew how much she missed her.

He went to bed sobered up again apologized to his friend who brushed it off (he still felt bad knowing Delores didn't see him that way, and she preferred woman anyway)and went to read Vanya's book again taking his time to admire her photos, her hair, her notes. He dreamed of her that night for the first time since before she kissed him. Even if it was just them being kids sitting in his room and talking about Tesla and Edison. He was grateful for it even if it was bittersweet. It didn't bring more pain though.

_You can't feel more pain if you are already drowning in it._

Besides he only missed her when he was breathing.

He was without Vanya for twenty-six years when the Handler showed up with her proposition. He promised Delores he would stop it, she wished him good luck. He tried not to feel as bad as he did about leaving her, but he had to. He had to go back.

Five worked for the Commission for two years. He couldn't lie that he felt something. They got him back to the real world, gave him a purpose, for the first time in forty-five years, he could put his skills to good use even if it was killing people. The act of taking someone's life meant little for him, no joy or guilt, but the preparation and the act of getting to the point he had someone's life in his hands, that was fun. He thought he fooled them pretty well, that he wanted to stay. He didn't he was leaving the first chance he got of course.

When he cracked the equations and made it back home feeling his body lighter and not hurting from old injuries and wounds while his suit felt like it had grown a size or three, he knew something was wrong.

The moment he realized what, he looked up only to find his siblings looking at him in shock. His eyes landed on Vanya, adult Vanya, while he was in his thirteen-year-old body.

'Shit,' he said out loud when what he really wanted to do was to throw on a full tantrum. Oh, well it looked like he would have to go through puberty and all its pesky perks again.

_Fun._

They went to the kitchen, and he made himself a sandwich wondering about the commission and how much time he had before they would send the tactical team after him, thinking about how many days he had before the apocalypse, and Vanya. She was in the kitchen but so were the others. She didn't write about their encounters in her book so she must have not what them to know about them now either.

When he said he was fifty-eight, he looked at her noting the confusion on her face. Well, she didn't look disgusted which was a good thing. He hoped it was. He didn't know much time had it been for her. Was it only this morning that they last shared her bed? This morning since she kissed him. It was a few hours for her, it was fucking twenty-eight for him. Even longer since he last actually saw her or heard her voice. She told him the date and he felt his teenage body shiver. Even her voice was doing something to him, not that he would expect otherwise. All of her was doing something to him.

As the others discussed it all and tried to get an answer from him, he had no intention of saying, he noticed her carefully and quietly slip away. He hoped she wasn't leaving. Was she upset because he was thirteen again? It was only temporally. He would figure out how to get older again, but would she be accepting of his older body. He was no young man. She was twenty-nine and had her whole life ahead of her, he was now thirteen which he had to fix and then he would be fifty-eight again. Would she want an old man like that?

Even if he tried not to be, he was a bit surprised to find her sitting on his bed. If he had more time, he would try to push her down on it and lay on top of her. They didn't even have to do anything just lay there, until the fact that she was here, really here with him would sink in.

_I'm missed you so fucking much, you can't even comprehend._

Of course, he didn't say it that as he found her there. Instead, he went all grumpy on her like he wanted to prepare her for his old man act.

'I'm sorry was I boring you down there?' he asked as he walked in not even looking at her just full-on rushing to his closet going over his old uniforms.

'I would have waited in my bed, but they tore my old room down after I moved out,' she said finally, and he paused in moving the hangers before he turned around slightly to look at her. Her voice. Gosh, he thought endlessly about how she sounded when he found her adult picture. It was even better than he expected. It was hers. It was so her.

She was really here, and so was he. Together, after so long.

He felt himself going a bit soft now finally it all coming down to him. They were together in a room again. It wasn't a dream or hypnagogia. He could see her, and talk to her, and touch her if he wanted to.

She stood up, 'I thought you would come to the bunker or the 1st of April.'

He blinked letting go of his uniform completely and turning to her fully. That surprised him. Why would he come to the bunker? She was the one who was supposed to be there. Did she think that was their rendezvous? Because he was there waiting for her in the future, and she never showed up, 'Why?'

'I thought we would...,' she stopped talking, and he recognized the hesitation. He saw it so many times as they were kids. She was about to lock herself inside her and not come out. Did she think he wasn't planning to come at all? Maybe he said it wrong? Maybe he was mean, and she thought he forgot about her. He told her he was fifty-eight maybe she assumed he moved on and didn't care for her anymore.

She shook her head looking like she was about to lose it and cry before she went to the door. It was an instant, but Five stopped her by teleporting in front of her closing the door with his back feeling his own panic raising, _'Vanya, wait.'_

He couldn't let her leave like this. She couldn't think it meant nothing to him when he had been waiting for her for that long. He wanted her so bad. He needed her. He couldn't let her leave now.

'It's nothing,' she said, but her voice betrayed her revealing all her emotions. It was _everything_.

' _Please,'_ he said his voice so soft and so young just as he felt in that moment standing there in front of her and begging her.

She closed her eyes, her whole body scream discomfort, 'I'm sorry, I thought...I was wrong.'

He immediately touched her neck.

_Oh fuck-_

She felt the same. Her skin felt the same, touching her felt the same. He forgot about it, but the moment he felt her skin against his young fingers it all came back to him. The little gasp she let out when he touched her sounded the same.

_I missed you so much_

She opened her eyes. His eyes were buried into hers, he had no doubt she could see all the emotions they carried just as he could. Love. Desperation. Sadness. Urgency.

' _Five,_ _'_ she said, and he stepped closer and pressed his forehead against hers. They were the same height again with him being young . It felt more intimate that they were the same face level like this. He didn't care if he was young or old. Vanya was here in his arms. Nothing else mattered. He wanted this for forty-eight years and he was finally allowed to have it. He didn't give a fuck about the rest.

'What happened?' she asked looking at him while their foreheads were still pressed together. He never wanted to look away from her.

'Something very bad will happen on April the 1st and I wanted you to be safe in the bunker. I wasn't sure I would make it back in time,' he explained hoping it would make some sense for her.

She sighed with relief. Maybe it did.

Her hands touched his face. Her touch was so soft, he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. His Vanya. His fucking amazing and beautiful and alive and here _Vanya_.

' _God_ ,' she sighed, and he wanted to kiss her so bad to capture that sound, 'I was scared it didn't happen. That you didn't remember.'

'I remembered,' he rushed to say. She had to know this, 'I felt you, I felt you next to me every time before I woke up for seventeen years...and then nothing. Then you were gone,' he said his voice breaking at the end as he swallowed remembering all that pain he almost choked with after he couldn't visit her anymore knowing she was dead, and he would never feel her again. Never touch her.

'I'm sorry,' she apologized which was such a typical Vanya thing to do, but he shook his head their foreheads still pressed, 'It wasn't your fault everyone was gone. I was in the future all alone. Everyone was gone. You were the only one I had at least once a day for those brief moments and then you were gone too.'

She let out a small sob for him. She always cried for others. He didn't want that. He didn't want to make her sad and cry. It didn't matter now. All that pain was for nothing because he was here and she was here, and they were together and wide awake and touching.

'I love you,' she said her voice breaking a bit too as she felt another sob leave her throat, and he never felt more touched in his life as if all the harsh life and all the cruel things he did meant nothing.

Five kissed her pulling her close, one hand on her neck while the other went to her back. It wasn't like their past kiss, their one and only one. This was more dominant, more desperate. Now they could move. Now they could touch wherever they wanted to, they could see each other and talk. Now they would use all they could, now they would do all they wanted to do when they were apart. He couldn't wait. He would do everything to her and let her do everything to him. He would listen to her voice for hours, and talk to her hear thoughts. He would kiss and lick every inch of her body he didn't have the chance to yet, he would bury himself into her properly and taste and feel her properly. All of it. He would do all of it.

She kissed him back just as hungrily pressing her entire body against his not giving a damn that it was young again. Good, because he didn't either. If she was up for it, he would take her right here and now like he was. He missed her so much. He craved her so much and now she was here in his arms and he could be with her. He waited so long. He deserved this. He deserved her, and he would take all there was of her.

When the door suddenly opened Vanya didn't even notice still kissing him their tongues dancing against one another as he shoved the door closed on whoever was trying to barge in.

_Rude!_

He was home five minutes and his siblings were already a nuisance. He should have known.

'Damn it!' they heard from the other side as they broke the kiss. Vanya blinked confused before she hugged Five burying her face against his neck while he must have been still holding the door.

'We want to start. Have you seen Vanya?' asked Luther from the other side.

'I'll get her,' said Five before she leaned away from him letting him go much to his disappointment. 'You should change.'

She said nodding at him while her hand brushed the front of his large suit.

He nodded, 'I hope you find me charming in my uniform shorts as well.'

'You're never charming, but the shorts did suit you,' she giggled a bit trying to be quiet in case Luther was still behind the door snooping.

Five smirked, 'Lucky you to save it like that.'

He kissed her lips lightly her one last time knowing he wouldn't have another chance for a while with his siblings close by.

* * *

The funeral ended with Luther and Diego fighting. It didn't surprise Five at all. Within the five minutes of his return, he remembered how his siblings were. Yet, they were here and alive, so he would take it as it was. Them being alright was all that mattered and for that to stay that way, he needed to stop the apocalypse.

He took Vanya to the side after the others scattered around the house, 'Go home, and I will come later. I need to take care of something. I will explain everything when I come, alright?'

'I will be waiting for you,' she told him taking his hand for a moment before she squeezed it.

He smirked at her feeling it wasn't his smug one but something softer, he usually had reserved only for her.

They parted and even if he had a hard time watching her leave, he knew he needed to get rid of the tactical team before he could go to her.

He couldn't help but think it was a rookie mistake that he left the tracker in his arm for that long, but he didn't want to alarm his siblings just yet.

Once he came to Vanya's apartment, and bedroom she was already on the bed naked waiting for him.

He smirked. He would be lying if he said, he wasn't worried how would things be between them now, but he always seemed to forget they were together only this morning and she was Vanya after all. She loved him back and accepted him just like he did her.

Her apartment looked just as he imagined it would, but the bed was the only thing he was interested in right now.

'What happened to your arm?' she asked as she watched him strip down. Even in the dark, she saw the cut and the blood.

He shook his head in response. He didn't want to worry her, but she got out of the bed and went to get her first aid kit.

She nursed his arm while they were both sitting naked on the bed. Their nudity somehow not bothering either of them.

'I thought you would be shy of me when I'm like this,' he said with a smirk.

'I'm way passed shy of anything when it comes to you,' she said and something in her look told him all he needed to know.

Five pulled her closer and the two of them laid down on the bed tangled with each other both of them familiar with this scenario even if Five grew out of the feeling of him being her height and this size.

'I don't have much time,' he confessed hating himself that he needed to break the comfortable silence.

'You said it happens on the 1st? There is still time,' she whispered against his lips.

'Not enough,' he whispered back enjoying to have his lips pressed against her stealing and swallowing all her words as she spoke.

'Just enough,' she said smartly.

He smirked some more before he kissed her again, 'You can't imagine how much I missed you.'

'I can,' she said.

'I missed you more,' he said kissed her again, 'I missed you longer.'

She didn't argue with him since she must have realized he was right. She couldn't imagine the pain and loneliness he felt without her even if he had Delores. And for all Five's selfishness and cruel intentions, he didn't want her to. He never wanted her to suffer through what he did. He wanted her like she was now. In a bed, in his arms, alive and safe with their lips locked together keeping their tongues in the prison of their kiss.

When they broke the kiss they laid in each others' arms with a blanket over them for once. He couldn't help but think about the apocalypse. He really didn't have much time. He needed to find the person who owned the glass eye, he needed to find a way to dodge the commission, and he needed to find a way to stop the apocalypse and get his body back and-

She pressed her hand against his cheek, 'Stop thinking. Tomorrow. Tonight let's just sleep. We have time.'

'Very little time,' he said.

'More than we used to have before,' she replied shutting him up. She knew she won for this time.

He sighed. He needed to tell her at least this, 'I'm gonna get my old body back. But...don't be surprised it will be old.'

She hugged him tighter against her, 'I don't care as long as it's you. Younger or older as long as it's you I don't care.'

He was quiet for a moment before he nuzzled his face against her.

'I love you,' he said as he realized he didn't say it back to her when they were in his old room.

After that, the two of them went silent.

They pulled each other close lying in each other arms until for the first time together they fell asleep with one another instead of woke up.

* * *

**Koniec**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Thank you for the support you showed for this story and all the others. If you like leave some feedback. Until next time ;)

**Author's Note:**

> A.N: I should probably update an ongoing story...or I could write a totally new one. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. Thank you for reading and support. If you want leave a feedback, and yes, I did that, and yes, there is possible Five's POV as second chapter.


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